Saying Goodbye

Less than a month ago, we discovered that Uncle Tom, favorite brother in the McElligott family, required some pretty intense medical treatment, a treatment that not many doctors were willing to offer.  We knew this could be a rough road ahead but we...well, I guess I can only speak for myself, I, was totally caught off guard to hear the news that we had lost him before he could be considered for this treatment.   Now, not even a week later, I find myself feeling more sad than I ever thought I would...more empty than ever before.
Unfortunately, I've been down this road plenty of times before to know how it works.  You go through the motions of looking through pictures, telling funny stories, wakes, funerals, the whole nine yards.  It's not until the day after, when all is said and done, that it really hits.  

I find myself wishing for just one more visit, even for an hour so I can hear his voice and remember it, really remember it.  Of course Tom had his signature sayings which we've all been repeating for the last few days, but I just want to hear them from him again...not through memory, but out loud, with my own two ears.  I want to walk in my parents house and see him sitting in his spot on the couch, TV guide in hand, asking when he was going to my wedding. 

It wasn't until today that I realized that no matter how frustrating it could be sometimes with Tom, there wasn't a single time I was with him that he didn't make me smile and laugh.  Even if it was just his obsession with lining things up on the table.  Maybe I found this amusing because he and I share the same love of organization and symmetry.   Even if it was the sound of him singing or laughing at the TV or calling something a "dum fing" or showing us his teeth for a picture, I was always laughing. 

I have plenty of great memories with him, but the one I keep coming back to, is that from about a year ago.  I came over to hang out with Tom while my parents went to a wedding.  He sat at the table and helped me put together goodie bags for an upcoming bachelorette party.  Of course asking if every bag was for him.   Anytime there was a gift in sight, Tom thought it was for him.   After that, I popped in good old Beatles Rockband, let Tom pick the setlist, and put on a concert for him.  He was my best back up singer, whether he knew the words or not.   After every song I turned to him and waited for my applause, sometimes having to beg for it.  That night even marked my first "bathroom" experience which I won't get into, but I still laugh about today.  

I remember feeling a sense of satisfaction when you could get a good hug out of him.  Usually this consisted of him slamming his body against you and burying his head in your chest.  They were the best hugs.  And it seems, after looking through all the pictures, that he was always being hugged back.  I hope he felt as special getting those hugs and we did getting them from him.

It breaks my heart to know that Lil Lax will never meet Tom.  He knew there was a baby coming and although he may not have liked the idea at first, I imagine they would have been quite the entertaining duo.  Tom wasn't the biggest baby fan, often yelling "NO!" when we mentioned it, but he was there to offer a name suggestion.  He suggested we name the baby 'Coocachoo', or something just as silly.  While that may not make my top ten names, it is yet another thing to make me smile. 

As they say, time heals all wounds, but I just don't know how this void can be filled.  He left such an impression on everyone he met.   This was obvious when seeing all the people who came to say goodbye to him.  He wasn't just my uncle Tom, he was a brother, a son, an uncle and a friend.  A friend I wasn't ready to let go of yet.

The Name Game

Who knew that naming a child would be so complicated?  Nearly 7 months ago, I bought a book called, "100,000 Baby Names".  I thought with that many options, this would be a breeze.  I thought wrong.  I started out just going through the book and jotting down names that I really liked, sort of liked, and could deal with if I needed to.  My girls name list was a whole heck of a lot longer than my boys.  Once I'd gone through the book, watched the credits roll on every movie in case one stood out to me, and checked every website on the planet, it was finally time to share the list with Eric.  I'll admit, I did add a few doozies to make my real names look good.  He quickly ruled out at least half of my list. 

I went into this trying to be fair.  Trying to listen to Eric's suggestions.  Trying to not to pull a Megan making faces to sway him.  I thought I was doing a good job at it.  That is, of course, until he called me a Natzi!   After that, we took a break from the name game for quite a while.

All along, we've been closer to an agreement on girls names.  Boys names were a different story.  I just simply couldn't find one that I loved.  I could settle on a few, but wanted to be sure I loved whatever name we decided on.

It's funny how many names you rule out and how.  You think about the names kids could be teased  with.  You think about people you don't like.  You think about people you do like, but don't want to "steal" their names (as if I were the only Megan on the planet).  You think about how well it does or doesn't go with a last name (his, not mine, sad).  You think about someone you know, who knows somebody who knows somebody with that name.  You've heard friends say names that they may or may not use, so you don't want to step on any toes and use those.   You think about potential nicknames.  I like some names but not he shortened version of them.  It just goes on and on. 

Luckily, within the last month, we discovered a name that we BOTH love for a boy.  I toyed around with this name for weeks, but I am so excited with our choice.   For girls names, we've narrowed the list down to about four, but both of us know it is really only down to two.  Now the question remains...will I push for the girl name that I really like, or will I compromise on the name we both like just enough.   hhhhmmmm...only time will tell.

Third Trimester...Not So Warm Welcome

The body is a funny thing.  I swear the day my third trimester started, all the typical third trimester symptoms kicked into full swing...all at once.     I was totally fine one morning and suddendly after lunch, I stood up and my feet were swollen and busting out of my shoes!  By the time I got home, my socks had formed deep rings around my growing legs.   It was this same night that I discovered my first stretch mark.  Well, I shouldn't say first stretch mark ever.  It's clear I am not the smallest chick in the world so I've seen my fair share...but they are pretty well hidden.  These new stretch marks, my pregnancy related ones, are front and center!  Palmers Cocoa Butter, my ass.    Another unexpected inconvenience is the dramatic decrease in sleep.  I finally get my damn neighbors to be quiet and I still lay awake all night long.  I think I average about 2-3 hours a night now.   Not fair.  The people who tell me this is nature's way of preparing me are lucky to have all their teeth because I come closer and closer to punching them every time I hear it.   I've often said sleep is my favorite activity and the thought of losing even more scares the crap out of me.

I am definitely feeling much more uncomfortable these days too.  I feel like sort of a late bloomer but this belly sure has grown in the last few weeks.  I can't help but laugh every time I have to roll myself out of bed.  I long for the days of jumping up off the couch to grab the phone or not getting out of breath from trying to dry my legs after a shower. 

I've been told the worst is yet to come.  I can't even imagine.

2nd Trimester Wrap Up

It's very hard to believe that this week ends my 2nd trimester.  I remember back in June thinking how far the holidays seemed and now here we are wrapping gifts and planning christmas parties.  

The second trimester was a pretty uneventful time for me.  I was lucky enough to breeze through without any major problems and with a weight gain of only seven pounds!  Oh yeah baby! The biggest development was the first little kicks I felt from Lil' Lax which have only grown stronger and bigger.  There are no more cutsie little "butterflies" or "pops".  These movements are full on twisting, turning, pushing, kicking, and punching.   I sometimes wonder if the baby is trying to escape through my belly button (which at the moment still points inward, thankfully). It's to the point now where it even keeps me up at night.  It seems the baby is on its father's schedule because when Eric's alarm goes off at 3am...it's party time.   The funny thing is, no matter how much movement I feel, the second I tell Eric to come check it out, the baby goes into hiding.  Eric is starting to get a complex that LL is scared of him!  I suggested that Eric use his inside voice when talking to the belly and the baby might not be so scared! ha

Other than that I've been morning sickness free, pain free, and pretty much worry-free which is a surprising feat for me.   The heartburn is still there, some days more than others but it's nothing two Pepcid's can't cure.

Change of Heart

In a past post called "Mean Girls", I vented about all the rude comments people make to pregnant chicks.  Since then, I've noticed that not everyone is a mean girl.  I've had an abundance of people telling me how great I look, how excited they are for me, offering their help, and even giving me special gifts.  A friend of mine (who may or may not read this blog, wink wink) gave me some great books that she and her friends found helpful and that they enjoyed reading with their kids.  It's gestures like these that make me realize that people are truly excited for me and just because some people may say stupid things, it's the positive things that really count.

Another Photo Shoot

As I mentioned before, the first ultrasound came out great, but some things were "missing".  Four weeks later, at my 24 week appointment, all parts were accounted for.  We got some really great pictures of the head and profile this time.  Eric and I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out whose nose, chin, and lips the baby had.  I was convinced it was all his, but I am the only one who thinks that way.  I guess we'll know in three months.  Whoever he looks like, I think she is already super cute. I keep the picture on the fridge and every day say a quick hello to him/her.  

Speaking of him or her.  After 5 months of agreeing that we wouldn't find out the sex of the baby, on this ultrasound day, Eric decided to change his mind!  What?  Keep in mind, this is the 3rd ultrasound we've had.  I didn't even get any warning.   Literally as we were walking into the room he springs this news on me. "I am going to find out today."  Oh really now?   He even said he would ask for it in an envelope and not show me.  But, we all know who won that battle and the sex of Lil' Lax is still a mystery.  Just the way I like it...ok I like it less and less as time goes by, but it will be so worth it in the end.

Blowing the Dust Off

About a month ago, Eric and I stopped by my mom and dad's to say hello.  While the men worked on some manly outdoor project, my mom decided to break out the box of old baby clothes and blankets she'd been waiting 29 years to give me.   In one box held not only my awesome 1981 baby clothes, but also some handmade ones that my Grandma had made for my mom when she was a baby.   As we went through the box I kept thinking how special it was that my mom had this stuff from her mom.  Unfortunately, from being in storage in my Gram's basement, they probably aren't wearble, but it was still fun to see them and maybe bring them out again in 29 years.

Along with the clothes were two very pretty afghans that were made for me when I was a baby.  Since I was born in June, I didn't get much use out of these heavy blankets, but luckily this February nugget will.  My favorite blanket is one that my Great Grandma Smetana made for me.  It is a green buggy blanket and I can't wait to use it.  I remember it being in my mom's closet when I was growing up and I would sneak it out and pretend I was using it on my own baby.  It's funny that now it sits in my closet waiting just a few more months to keep my baby warm.

Skelator

One week and we've gone from Orville to Skelator.  My poor child.  Last week we had our 20 week ultrasound.  It was all very exciting and scary at the same time.  This was the first time Eric would be there to see and hear the baby.  That part was actually really fun for me to watch.  Everytime something clearly showed on the screen, Eric laughed or made some interesting noise like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.   For me, it was way more painful that I imagined it would be.  Apparently the baby wasn't cooperating so I had to do lots of moving around and the tech did lots of digging, literally.   It was super fun to see and feel the baby punching and kicking everytime the tech pushed a little harder on it!   We left with a few new pictures including the one here, which is how the baby got its new nickname (courtesy of his/her father), Skelator.   

Once the u/s was over, I had an appointment with my doctor to review the results.  Everthing is on target with the due date.  The doctor then informed me that there were a few things "missing".  MISSING!?  Realizing he may have used the wrong word, he corrected himself.  Apparently there are 30 things the tech looks and measures for at the 20 week mark.  Because of the baby's positioning, they were unable to get good reading for six of these things.  I am sure the look on my face revealed panic so he assured me that everything was totally fine.  I would just need to come back in four weeks for another u/s so they can get new measurements.  Of course, even him telling me it was fine, didn't ease my mind.  The word "missing" stuck with me.  Admittedly, I freaked for about a day but then realized that it was soley the positioning of the  baby that caused this.  Besides, I have to look on the brightside, I get an extra u/s in a month!   It will be neat to compare these pictures to those next ones. 

And for the record, even though I was asked  twice if I wanted to know the sex of the baby, I declined, twice.  I don't, however, enjoy the fact that someone else knows what I am having and I don't!

My Little Orville Reddenbacher

It happened.  After all that worrying and doubt, I felt what I've been waiting for!  I guess technically I've been feeling this little bugger for a few days now but was unsure of what it was.  Many people describe the feeling as popcorn popping or little butterflies.  For me, my moment of clarity came while I was laying in bed last night.  There was a little bit of movement going on which caught my attention and then suddenly, POP!  There it was!  For the next few minutes I kept feeling these pretty strong POP's in the same general area.  Today was the same story.  There was lots of action going on throughout the day and now that I know what I am looking for, I can definitely tell the difference between those little love taps and other things (like, um, gas).   Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore there he was letting me know she was in there.   More confirmation will come tomorrow when I go for my u/s, but in the meantime I am just going to sit and enjoy my little Orville Reddenbacher popping away in there.

Mean Girls

I have plenty of women in my life who warned me ahead of time about all of the advice I would get, whether I asked for it or not.  Most often, I am more than happy to hear what others have to say about pregnancy and newborns.   I love asking the gals in my life to tell me all the things I need to know...even those things you can't find in any preggo book.   The more I know, the better.  Recently, I've noticed that women take the opportunity to relive their pregnancies while bombarding me with all the bad news they can think of.  Almost always they start the story with "here is something they don't tell you".   Or they lie and say, "I am so happy for you" and continue to tell me how miserable I am going to be.  In the last week I have heard:
my teeth are going to get screwed up, my feet will swell, I'll have to buy all new shoes because my feet will grow a size, my face is going to break out, I am probbaly going to gain 87 pounds, I'll never lose the baby weight, my boobs will hurt like never before, I don't know what tired is and when I said my back was hurting me a little bit, I was told I have no idea what a backache was.  Wow.  I saved the best for last.  Yesterday I was told by someone at work that I probably wasn't showing because I started off being so heavy!  Are you kidding me?  Who says that!?  I was always feeling self-conscious and worried about not showing already and then to have someone say that!  Wow.  It was my first near-tear moment at work (pregnancy related at least).  I am a little surprised that women, all of who have gone through this themselves, would say these things to another woman.  Of all people, they should know it doesn't feel good to hear these things.  I just feel like everyone was being so negative!   I mean, it obviously can't be that bad if women continue to have babies, often more than one!  

I guess I just need to take it all in stride.  People are going to say stupid things and I just need to remember to blow it off as best I can.  It's just one of those pregnancy things I never expected.  Now THAT is something that they don't tell you!

Doubt

19 weeks in and I have to say I am very much enjoying my second trimester.  No more nausea, manageable heartburn, and increased energy.  It's great.   I am, however, suddenly feeling a little bit of doubt.  Without those sure signs of pregnancy I felt early on, and with a barely there belly and no feeling of movement yet, I started to question whether I was still pregnant.  Of course, I know I am but this in between stage is such a funny place to be.   I know someone who is due 9 days after me and when I saw her, all I could do was stare at her very obvious baby bump.  Then I started to panic.  Where is mine!?  I have a 20 week u/s coming up so I am sure this will ease my mind but in the meantime, can't I just feel a little kick or something!?

Am I the Only One?

I think this next topic is too funny not to mention.  I can't imagine I am the only person who stresses out about planning "pee time" on Dr. appointment days.   Usually around lunchtime (my appointments are right after work) I start to "plan" when I pee, knowing I have to perform when I get to the doctors office.   2:00pm is my cutoff time, the last pee.  After that I down two bottles of water.  By the time I get to the office I can barely contain myself.  Luckily it's the first thing you do when you get there. 

It's probably different at each office, but I find the whole thing very unscientific.  You basically pee into a mini solo cup and write your name in Sharpie on the side.  Then there is a little door above the toilet where you place the cup (with no lid, mind you).  It's just weird.

One of two things happen in this bathroom.  A) you forgot to plan pee time and you have nothing to give the solo cup.  B) you have too much to give and can't cut it off!  this happened to me last time.  I literally laughed out loud in the bathroom thinking "my cup runeth over". 

Yes, a pretty gross topic, but I know I am not the only one. 

Getting Eric Involved

I've heard many stories where husbands can start to feel ignored or unimportant during pregnancy and after the baby is born.  The other day, while he was rubbing my barely there baby belly, I asked if he ever felt like he wasn't included in this whole thing.  I've been getting so much attention lately and I am the one who, eventually, gets to feel the baby and take care of it for a few more months, so I thought maybe he might feel left out.  He answer was quite comical.  He laughed and told me not to worry about that.  He said he feels really included every time I:

    - ask him to stop at Outback on his way home from work
    - text him a list of food items I want from the store...only to have changed my mind later
    - nag that we need to get the second bedroom cleaned up
    - read the weekly update from BabyCenter (which sometimes creeps us both out)
    - rub my belly in order to get out of things
    - make him carry all the laundry upstairs for me
    - tell him to pickup hay bales for my fall decorations because if he doesn't, I will, and that isn't safe. :)
    - nudge him in bed on a Sunday morning and say, "it's time to make the donuts" and he jumps out of bed heading to the nearest Dunkin' Donuts.

Girlfriends Advice...Part One

As I've mentioned before, I had been given more advice in the last four months than ever before.  Here are some of the "tips" I received so far.   Some I will follow, others maybe not.  I'll let you guess which is which.

- Bassinets are a waste of money (and space)

- Baby moons are a must. 

- Don't over buy newborn sized diapers.

- Wait until after the baby is born to have a baby shower.

- Don't over think the little things about being in the hospital.  In the heat of the moment, none of the worries will cross your mind (at least not the little ones like making sure you are cute for pictures immediately after delivery).

- Buy both a pink and blue "coming home" outfit.  One to use, depending on what I have, and the other to give as a gift. 

- Butt paste- buy it in bulk.

- Sleep now or forever hold your peace.

- Don't go overboard on maternity clothes.

- Take time to make sure Eric and I are on the same page each week regarding babysitters, events, responsibilities for the week.

More to come later I am sure.

Four Month Update

Today marks 16 weeks of pregnancy.  I had a doctors appointment last night where, after listening to the heartbeat, I was told I have a "happy baby in there".  This of course makes for a happy me.  Everything is right on schedule.  I am not exactly showing yet and I've even lost another pound.  The doctor says this is all fine.  She also told me that sometimes if you start off a little 'heavier', the baby uses all that stored fat I already have!  I have no problem with this.  I've even been encouraging the baby to use more!!!! 

Another wonderful thing happened to me on this day.  I discovered, inadvertently, that my maternity pants that I claimed were all too big, are adjustable.  AWESOME!    Getting dressed in the morning isn't so bad now.  There is definitely something about your clothes that can either make you really uncomfortable all day or really feel good about yourself.  This week, I'm feeling pretty good.

Still Spoiled

I have to admit, I've been excessively spoiled for the last 29 years.  I am an extremely lucky girl with amazing parents who have always done their best to protect, teach, and, yes, spoil me, whether intentionally or not.  Since my choice of foods are quite limited these days either because they make me sick, don't appeal to me, or are on the preggo no-no list, my parents decided to hook me up.  For breakfast, my mom made me the most enjoyable banana bread I've ever had.  Each day at work I sneak to unwrap it so no one else sees it because let's face it, I am not sharing.  Then, since my craving for turkey was making me crazy and I can't (or won't) have deli meats, my parents cooked me up an entire turley breast, sliced it, and packaged it for me.  These turkeys sandwiches have made for the best lunches I've had in four months.   I wonder if I will lose my rank in February!

Thinking Outside the Belly

I sometimes have to remind myself that we do have a life outside of this growing belly.  So that I don't bore myself with baby blogs only, I've decided to add in a few other tales.
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The first of which is the story of my first Bears game.  While I'd been to Soldier Field many years ago for a Madonna concert with my dad (I was 5), I haven't been there for a game.  My mother-in-law was kind enough to get us tickets to the first pre-season game of the year.  She hooked Eric and I up with seats in the United Club which was great!  I can't say the same for the Bears' performance, but being there was still fun and it was nice to get out and do something out of the ordinary.  We had a beautiful night in Chicago, thanks to Bob and Sherri.

The Same Questions

No, we are not finding out the sex of the baby.
No, we are not sharing our names.

Who knew these answers would get people so worked up. More often than not, I get lectured on why I SHOULD find out what I am having. Some of their reasons:
1) so I can plan my nursery
2) so that people know what colors to buy
3) so THEY don't have to wait to find out

Really, when the kid is a month old, will these things matter to any of these people? No, to them, my kid will just be another baby whether it is in green, pink, or blue clothes and regardless of the color room it sleeps in. Give it up people. We'll all know in 5 months.

Pregnant, Not Just Fat

At 15 weeks, I find getting dressed to be the most devasting part of my day. While the buttons and zippers are all broken on my pre-preggo pants, the maternity ones I bought are just a little too big. I can imagine it's only a matter of time before I am busting the elastic on the maternity pants too, but at this point, I just want the belly. I want, when my fat is sticking out, people to know it is a baby, and not an over indulgence on burritos. There has been a lot of stretching going on lately so maybe in the next few weeks I'll get that bump I so desperately want.

My Poor Husband

Eric is such a trooper. In an effort to please my aching, starving belly, he would call me every day and ask what I wanted for dinner. I would tell him, and by the time I got home, my earlier choice was now revolting to me.  When I thought I was craving something, it either ended up being a huge disappointment or it made me sick.

I can't say that I have any real cravings as of yet,.  However, we have had our fair share of Outback salads lately. Red meat is really appealing to me right now too. Filets are my fav. Why couldn't I yearn for something a little cheaper?

The smell of McDonalds french fries is revolting to me. Milk and cheese are not my friend. And I still love a good piece of cake.

A Wee Bit of Whining

Here is the part where I told you was for me, not you. Feel free to read, as this is a record of my experience with morning sickness. First off, I'd like to say, "Morning sickness, my ass. How about every freaking waking moment sickness". There, that sounds about right. At eight weeks exactly, it kicked in. I remember this day because I was off of work, and heading in for my first ultrasound. Following the ultrasound, I was taking my niece Emily to see the latest installment of the Twilight series. I remember calling Eric before leaving the house telling him I was dying and wouldn't make it through the day. I felt this way until 14 weeks. Now, I definitely had it easier than some ladies. I never did throw up, though I begged for it often. I just constantly felt nauseous and the headaches were terrible. I was in bed every night by 7:30, which is not a complaint. Sleep is, after all, my favorite activity. The worst part of not feeling good was right in the middle of it all, I had to give about 10 tours of our recycle center at work. I am pretty sure that each of those tours fell on days where it was 90 degrees or hotter. Many times, I thought I would barf right on these people, but luckily for them, and for the sake of my job, I did not.

At 15 weeks today, I am finally over the nausea, but this acid reflux/heartburn business is killer. It's almost worst that the pukey feeling. I am hoping to get some relief when I go to the doctor next week. Otherwise, I guess I'll just wait until March to feel better.

Breaking The News

Though this was definitely no surprise pregnancy, I still took my time before buying the test. After almost a year, the excitement of buying a test tends to wear off and becomes the source of stress, always expecting the negative. At first I snuck around the store, made sure no one was in the aisle, quickly grabbed a test and hid it under my purse until checkout. The element of surprise was a huge deal for me so I didn't want anyone to see me buying it. Well, not this fateful June night. I knew it was time to test so I went in very calmly, bought the test, and stared at it for a few minutes when I got home. Finally, I did my business and pretended to occupy my thoughts in the kitchen. Of course I didn't wait the full suggested wait time, but it was clear as day: 2 pink lines. I started to shake immediately and then tried to come up with a way to tell Eric. Fifteen minutes later, he came downstairs, only for a dinner break in between Call of Duty matches. I started handing him all things he requested from the store that night; razors, deodorant, toothpaste, postive pregnancy test. I had to say it twice because in true Eric fashion he was talking over me. His reaction?   He says, "No Shit?". Wow, thanks for that. Having been in this position before and only having disappointment, we wouldn't let ourselves get too excited. But, as the weeks went on, it started to build and we started to talk about it a little more.

Ten weeks later, and a Laxton family party approaching, we decided since everyone was together, now was the time to tell his family. We actually didn't even decide for sure until a few minutes before Eric walked into the dining room, where his whole family stood and told them the news. Of course there was lots of screaming and hugging to follow. Everyone was very excited and had lots of questions which we were more than happy to answer. We were just thrilled to be able to talk about it amongst other people. Our nephew TJ (10 years old), who I've dubbed the 'baby-whisperer' was so excited, he immediately started talking to my belly. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was just the fat he was talking to!

Two weeks later, after being stressed out about having the perfect situation to tell my parents, the moment was upon us. I made up an excuse to come over on a Saturday, the night before a family party for my mom's bday. After dinner, I grabbed a box of Fannie May candy and told them I got it free at the mall earlier that day. Only when they opened it, no candy was to be found. Just a box full of baby pacifiers. (the baby's original due date was Valentine's Day, hence the box of chocolates). It took a few seconds for a reaction and when it finally came, it came in the form of tears from my mom who jumped up starting hugging us. From my dad came a look of shock and a red face. Ever my protector, his concern was first for me and wanting to make sure I was ok. Seconds later, he was up and hugging us as well. After a few hours of baby talk, and the news finally settling in, this tired pregnant chick had to go home and go to bed. It was a lot of excitement for one day.

I was pleased with myself to have pulled off that surprise. All this time, that was my main goal. I wanted a genuine, shocked reaction, and that is exactly what I got. It was one of those moments I'd spent my entire life thinking about and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Testing...Testing....

Ok, so here we go. My very first post.

I found it difficult to start this blog. After all, what a presumption to think that people would actually take time out of their day to read about the very uninteresting life that, we, the McLaxton's lead. I thought about it long and hard and I've come to this conclusion: It's not for you people, it's for me.

The last few months have been an exciting time around our household. In early June we discovered we were having a baby. After months of trying, testing, loss, and discouragement, we finally got the news we have been waiting for.

I looked long and hard to find the perfect pregnancy journal. This was important to me so that I would be able to look back and compare should baby #2 ever come to be, and basically so I can guilt my kid later in life and let him or her know what I went through. None of the journals I found fit my needs. Most had a page or two dedicated to the pregnancy part and the rest for once the baby is born. So, my search led me here, to a (blog)spot that I'd insisted I would never come to. Here I can write down my thoughts without having to worry about fitting them into a tiny little area on a page in a book.

I expect throughout the next few months, if you become an avid reader, you find some stories funny, some you can relate to, and you may even find me to be a whiner...which I feel I am completely entitled to. So, here we go...the beginning. Enjoy.