Decision Made

It was decided by my doctors that I will not go past 37 weeks.   Tomorrow I will be 37 weeks.  

At my appointment on Monday, we decided to go ahead and schedule the induction for Monday (Jan. 24) night.  Actually, I take that back.  We originally scheduled it for about 5:00 Sunday evening, but apparently my doctor realized (as did Eric) that the Bears/Packers game wouldn't be over in time so we pushed it back a day.  Yes, my child's birth was determined by a Bears game.  Eric even said to me, "what's one more day?"  If he only knew.  Knowing that I also have an appointment with the specialist on Thursday (the 20th), my doctor told me I better have my bags packed to go on Thursday.  Luckily, if Dr. Freakout sends me then, I won't have to wait until Monday for the induction.  They'll do it right then.  So, in a perfect world, I'll have the baby late Friday or early Saturday and be released and home before the game starts on Sunday.  In a perfect world.  If there's anything this last month has taught me, is to expect the unexpected.  I have no idea how this whole thing will turn out.  All I know is that at least by this time next week, Lil' Lax will be here.

Seeing as though this may be my last night at home with just me, Eric and Coop, I started to think about how I really feel about all this.   I am not sure if this is normal or not, but I don't exactly feel excited yet.  I think it's because I know what I am going to go through before the baby gets here and that holds me back from getting too excited.   It's the unknown I don't like.  Out of the blue I started worrying that everything was ok with the baby.  Doctors assured me that 37 weeks was perfectly fine to deliver the baby, but I started to worry about other major issues.  I didn't worry about this for the entire pregnancy, even turned down genetic testing, but this is weighing heavily on my mind these days.  I am sure this is what all new mothers think so I am going to try not to dwell.

I am starting to feel really bad for Cooper now too.  Probably like most mom's feel about bringing home a second baby.  I want to be sure Coop doesn't feel neglected and I want to be sure I don't lose my patience with him...which has been known to happen.  I feel fairly confident that he will be great with a baby since every time there is one around he just stares and wags his tail.  I hope this trend continues when someone else is on my lap instead of him!

I asked Eric last week what we were in for.  I suddendly started to freak out that we would no longer be able to hop in the car and go somewhere when we felt like it.  We would always have to worry about a sitter.  We would never sleep again.   Then, I realized, we never just hop in the car and run anywhere.  We are homebodies who rarely go "out" and even if we decided to, we have a waiting list of people who want to take the baby.   I haven't sleep for three months, so there is nothing new there!

A month from now, I am sure I couldn't imagine my life pre-Lil' Lax but it is hard to think of right now.  In fact, this blog is going on and on because I know when I stop, I have to go to bed and my mind will start to race.   I just have to keep telling myself, like I do for tours at work or speeches in school, that it will all be over soon and I will have worried myself sick for no reason.

So, since Eric's alarm is going off in two hours, I better try to get some sleep just in case tomorrow is the big day.  My next blog will either announce Lil' Lax's arrival, be a complaint about still being on bed rest. 

Until next time....